Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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