So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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