So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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