i just made my gag reflex go away.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
