hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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