I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
