when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
