she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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