Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
