I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
