brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
