I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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