The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
