i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
