I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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