Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
