White coat. Heels.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
