I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
