between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
