I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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