i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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