toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
