And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
