i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
