Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
