we have pet lesbian snakes
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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