chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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