wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
