Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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