when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
