So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
