You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
