Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
