Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
