this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
