I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we made out on top of his cat.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
