Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
