Already got asked if we're dating
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
