Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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