I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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