I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
