The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
