Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
