Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
