You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
