weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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