It was confusing and full of hummus
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
