I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
