What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i love accidental penises.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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