Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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