I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
