You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
