they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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