I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
